Strangely Intimate
by Tali-Sarah
Summary: What if Xena had managed to get out of the Underworld in 'Intimate Stranger' a little sooner?


12/1/05

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Xena: The Warrior Princess. They belong to Studio USA and Renaissance Pictures. Don't sue, I have no money and I will fight to keep my expensive shoes!

A/N: A response to a challenge set by LadyAngel aka Alicia on her site Requirements are at the bottom of the page.

After several lengthy minutes of argument with Hades Xena managed to negotiate her way out of the underworld. The rocks towering around her started to spin and the warrior princess reached out to grab onto something, anything to stabilise herself. As she grasp thin air she closed her eyes to fight off nausea that was soon replaced with an entirely different sensation. Her eyes snapped open and a barrage of thoughts entered her mind.

The thought however, that won out against the rest was the she wasn't in Tartarus anymore and Ares wasn't suppose to be that close to her body acting like a rabbit in heat. The momentary joy of being back in her own body was short lived as Ares did something amazing with his tongue and her attention was focused once again on the God of War.

Her attempt at screaming at him was delayed by a smouldering kiss followed by him murmuring her name. Did the bastard know it was her or was he just playing out his sick little fantasies? She could not, would not allow this perverted encounter to continue. 

And then it happened and stopping was the furthest thing from Xena's mind. She'd kill him later.

--##--

Callisto's shrill scream echoed off of the walls of her prison in the underworld. Her fists pounded the rock walls and she hissed.

Dammit! And it was just getting good

She hadn't even minded that much when he had wanted to call her Xena. Whatever floated his boat.

--##--

Ares rolled over, panting heavily. He never was one for cuddling, and he never would have taken Callisto for a cuddler either -- but she was now standing over him stark naked, looking rather pissed off and holding Xena's sword.

He guessed that if it meant that much to her...His thought was however cut off when she violently plunged the sword into his body a little closer to certain appendages then he would have liked. He could only stare at her with mouth agape and he muttered the first thing that came to mind,

Keep your dirty hands of my body Ares! Xena grabbed her tunic and hastily started to put it on.

The God of War silently removed the sword from his body, his smirk the only indicator of his thoughts. It was Xena, the real one. Score one for him. 

--##--

By the time Xena stalked back into camp it was sunrise and Gabrielle and Joxer were sitting anxiously around the dying fire. Gabrielle was the first to rise and move swiftly to Xena's side. She started to fuss as her friend tried to avoid her subtly, not taking the hint. Joxer in a moment of clarity relinquished his share of a breadstick to Xena and scuttled off into the bushes, mumbling something about quail.

the small blonde started, are you all right? You look flushed.

The only reply she received was a death glare. The bard changed her tactic in an attempt to get her friend to open up and discuss her emotional issues. She had heard from a self help guru in Athens that it was unhealthy to bottle things up.

Really Xena, you're almost glowing. Is there something you want to talk about? I'm here for you.

Xena attempted to smile politely but it came out as more of a grimace. It was interrupted by Gabrielle's nervous giggle though and the darker woman noticed her friends attention was now pointedly directed at a pair of bunnies going at it like, well, rabbits.

Xena wasn't sure whether she was thankful for her friends distraction or strangely disturbed at the fascination that Gabrielle seemed to be showing the two animals partaking in a rather private moment. The bard was almost studying the pair.

she cleared her throat. Gabrielle, what are you doing?That rabbit, it reminds me of Ares. It's doing what he tries to do to you every time he sees you. Screw you over.

This time the only reply Gabrielle received was Xena clobbering her over the head with the breadstick Joxer had left.

The End.

Back in Intimate Strangers, what if Xena had found a way to get back into her body when Ares was doing Callisto?  
Instead of busting Ares ass for sleeping with Callisto while she was in Xena's body, she decides to exact revenge later...but first, she has some serious god screwing to do...lol

Requirements

# Xena driving a sword into Ares and him just staring at her then saying, "Hey!"  
# Callisto finding herself back in her body and thinking "Dammit!" or something to that effect, when she realises that she won't be finishing hers and Ares tete a tete anytime soon.  
# Gabrielle constantly putting her foot in it and Xena clobbering her with a breadstick.


End file.
